Like a cat, Brain Cat only shows up when it's inconvenient and is asleep when I need it most.
During a test:
Me: C'mon, Brain Cat. We know this. I need you to get off your lazy cells and tell me what the answer is.
Brain Cat: Zzzzzzz....
Me: BRAIN CAT!
Test moderators: Uh, miss, do you have Tourettes? Or are we going to have to escort you from the building?
When I get home from an overnight shift at work:
Me: So tired...I'll just close my eyes...and sleep...because I'm going to die if I don't...
Brain Cat: Meow. Meow, yo.
Me: For cryin' out loud...
Brain Cat: Hey hey hey Becca hey hey hey guess what meow ha ha ha I'm a cat but I'm also your brain and do you know what would be awesome if we dipped pretzels in jelly and then put them in the microwave am I right anyway we haven't pondered the mysteries of life for like two hours so let's do that right now also are we wasting our talents--
Brain Cat: MEOW PAY ATTENTION TO ME LOOK I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO EVERY SONG FROM THE MUSIC MAN "PICK A LITTLE TALK A LITTLE PICK A LITTLE TALK A LITTLE PICK PICK PICK SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING--"
Me: Brain Cat....please, for the love of all that is decent, go to sleep.
Brain Cat: NAH THAT'S ALL SORTS OF BORING WE NEED TO BE UP AND DOING STUFF I BET YOU COULD BE A REAL REAL GOOD RUNNER LIKE THOSE TARAHUMARA PEOPLE IF WE WENT ON A RUN RIGHT THIS SECOND...
Me: We are not going on a run. Ever. Could you please stop thinking in all caps?
Brain Cat: LOOOOOOL NOOOOOOOOOOPE WHAT IF WE ADDED EXTRA VOWELS TO EVERYTHING LIKE THAT LAST SENTENCE WOULD BE WHAAAAAAAT IIIIIIF WEEEEEE AAAAAAADDEEEEED EEEEEXTRAAAAA VOOOOWEEEEELS TOOOOOO EEEEEVEEEEERYTHIIIIIING--
Me: *is exhausted*
Anyway, that's all. So if anyone knows of any good brain cat tranquilizers, let me know.