Saturday, June 16, 2012

1001 Dads S04 Ep. 08 (Part 1)

 In which Arthur and the gang tackle the tricky subject of divorce by making
the kid with divorced parents feel inferior.

Category: One of Arthur's Friends (Buster) Fails at a Basic Life Skill
Basic Life Skill Failed: Having a nuclear family

OR

Category: Arthur Fails at a Basic Life Skill
Basic Life Skill Failed: Being sensitive to the familial situations of others

This episode begins with an introduction where Arthur tells the audience that Buster's dad is AWOL, but that he takes Buster all sorts of places when he actually does show up so he's pretty cool. Buster gets a call from his dad while he and Arthur are flying kites and apparently it's really good news, but Buster refuses to tell Arthur what it is. Which was his first mistake.

This is also the first episode where we hear about Buster's infamous food collection...which apparently includes a paperclip chain?

After the title card, Arthur, Francine, and D.W. are walking Pal when they see some nameless extra putting up posters for the Father's Day Picnic. Arthur immediately panics because he's worried that Buster will have a miserable time and that everyone will find out that his parents are divorced (and have been for four or five years) and give him a group hug. Buster wanders by and Arthur accidentally glues himself to the wall in an effort to shield his friend from the trauma of seeing a traditional father and son poster.

Friends don't let friends see things they probably see every day just in poster form.

 Francine asks Buster if he's going to the Father's Day Picnic. He says he has other plans. She says that her sister ran away to Crown City to be an exotic dancer (or something like that), so their family was one kid short if he wanted to chill with the Frenskys. He thanks her, but sticks to his guns and says he has other plans.
After he's gone, Arthur immediately kicks into high scheming mode. If Buster doesn't want to be a part of someone else's family, he reasons, maybe he'd want a surrogate dad all to himself! Genius.

So he starts recruiting fake dads. Because that's what best friends do.

His first choice?

Pickles the Clown, a recurring character with an allergy to dogs (which is ironic because he seems to be the same bulldog-ish thing that Binky is).

Know what's scarier than a clown? A clown who rings your doorbell and says he wants to be your dad.

Unsurprisingly (or maybe surprisingly because it is, after all, Buster Baxter), Buster refuses the clown's offer, but takes the balloons which Arthur has to pay for.
But Arthur is nothing if not thick-skulled persistent, so he keeps trying. The following is a list of potential Mr. Baxters. 

  • A robot. Brain made said robot from a mannequin and parts of the robocat they used to prove that Buster was lying in a previous episode.
It actually looks like the animated Mr. Rogers from another episode. They should've called Fred up for this gig.
Buster sets out to exorcise the demon. Or...he thinks this guy swallowed a cat so he's trying to do the Heimlich.
  •  Mr. Ratburn. Because calling your teacher "Mom" or "Dad" is nowhere near as embarrassing as showing up at the Father's Day Picnic with them.
Poor Nigel just wants to be loved.
  •  Pal. George offers to use his ventriloquism skills for the greater good rather than irritating everyone and covering up his crippling social anxiety.
Pal is not convinced.
  •  A cushion. Yep. Prunella suggests that they hypnotize Buster into thinking a cushion is his father. Thankfully, Arthur has enough sense to shoot that one down.
Unrelated: In some future post I'm going to explore the mystical and Arthur. They address divorce, cancer, and religion, but they never address the fact that Prunella and her family are freaking Wiccans.
  •  A virtual reality helmet. We get a sad, sad glimpse into Muffy's loveless life when she decides that she'll go to the picnic with the helmet and Buster can have her lackluster dad.
George still hasn't given up on his idea.
  •  Binky Barnes. After everything else gets shot down, Binky offers to be Buster's dad and starts doing all sorts of parent-y things, like telling Arthur his shoe's untied without looking and tucking D.W. into bed. This is one of my favorite exchanges of all time:
Binky: "Hot chocolate, my boy?"
Buster: *as Binky spills hot chocolate on his arm* "Ow! Watch it! Why don't you take those glasses off?"
Binky: "Quit moving the cup! I mean...Watch it, my boy. This is a hot beverage."
Buster: "Binky, why do you keep calling me your boy?"
Binky: "...uh...Starve a cold and feed a fever!"
Buster: "This is some crazy plan Arthur cooked up to keep me from feeling like I don't have a dad, isn't it?"
Binky: "Um...yes...uh...no! Just play along, doofus, it's for your own good."
Buster: "Well, you can tell him I already have a father and I'm not sad!"
Binky: "Yes you are! You're miserable!"
Buster: *leaves*
Binky: *falls into the creek trying to go after him*
Binky: "Some son. Bet he doesn't even get me a tie for Father's Day."

I'll get you a tie, Binky.
  •  A piñata. This wasn't actually Arthur's idea. It was more of a pissed off response from Buster. "Oh, I wonder who my father is today. Is it the cashier?" (who, you can see, is a girl) "Is it that piñata?" (plays a bar of Spanish-sounding music)

In the end, it turns out that Buster's dad hired a hot air balloon for everyone at the picnic, Mr. Ratburn took the Tibble twins, Arthur's dad tries to bond with his only son and ends up breaking an egg on his face, and Francine's sister wasn't cut out for Crown City life and came back to Elwood City so everyone is happy.


EXCEPT ME. Buster isn't the only one with an absentee father. Poor overlooked Fern Walters is dad-less for the entire run of the show (except for in a later episode when the creators try to dupe the audience into believing that Fern's had a dad the whole time but I'm not buying it because I've seen every single episode for the past fifteen years thank you very much.) The Tibbles don't have a father or a mother or even a grandpa. Although I have a theory that they killed their parents because that's the sort of thing the Tibbles would do. Or maybe their parents are/were Nazi hunters. Rattles (one of Binky's juvie friends) doesn't have parents. Molly (more of the same) doesn't have a dad.

The real moral of the story is, don't be best friend with the main character coz they will get all up in your business.

Happy Father's Day, y'all.

4 comments:

Matt Bat Head said...

Holy. Cow. This episode is SOOO good :) Binky being a dad is awesome.

Brandon said...

What do you have against Wiccans, you Wiccast?

Great writeup, as usual.

郭雪弗 said...

台灣威而鋼記者報導』

骨質疏鬆症是無聲無息的隱形殺手,許多人因骨折才發現自己罹患骨鬆,甚至出現嚴重的髖部骨折而喪失性命。
威而鋼(VIAGRA)
醫師指出,女性停經後荷爾蒙會快速下降,導致蝕骨細胞數量增加,造成骨本快速流失。
威而鋼(VIAGRA)
就容易罹患骨鬆,建議停經後婦女應至醫院進行骨質密度檢測,評估是否需要藥物治療。
犀利士(CIALIS)
骨科醫師楊再興表示,骨質疏鬆症是高血壓、糖尿病、高血脂等3高疾病之外的第4大慢性疾病。
犀利士(CIALIS)
不過,有別於3高疾病,身體會出現明顯的不適反應,罹患骨鬆的患者身體通常沒有任何異狀,直到發生骨折才意識問題的嚴重性。
台灣威而鋼
楊再興指出,45至55歲的女性停經後,荷爾蒙會快速下降,導致蝕骨細胞數量增加。
台灣威而鋼
造成骨本快速流失,1年內會流失3至5%,5年內至少流失20至30%,若骨本不夠很快就會面臨骨折的危機。
台灣犀利士
男性發生骨鬆則是因老化問題,平均發生年齡為75歲。
台灣犀利士
如何預防骨鬆?楊再興建議,停經後婦女及年滿65歲的男性,應至醫院進行骨質密度檢測。
春藥
檢測部位包括兩邊髖關節、脊髓共3個部位,需自費1200至1500元,若有經濟上的考量。
春藥
年輕人可檢測脊髓,老人則檢測髖關節部位,評估是否需要藥物治療,若確診可透過荷爾蒙、副甲狀腺素,或雙磷酸鹽等藥物治療。
壯陽藥
楊再興強調,要避免骨鬆,無論男女從青春期就要開始存骨本,包括增加鈣、鎂攝取、多曬太陽。
壯陽藥
以及負重運動,如舉重、步行、慢跑、爬樓梯等,可促進骨質密度增加,老年人則可從事水中運動,降低關節受傷機率。
壯陽藥

Matt said...

Um this is still great. I know I had already read this, but this still made me laugh loud. Like out loud.