The hygienist asked me how my flossing had been; I told her I never miss a day. I am a religious flosser. I brush morning and night. I've been cutting down my soda intake.
She could tell I wasn't lying because my teeth looked so good; she even said how I'd made her job easier by keeping my teeth in such good shape.
Then the dentist came in to look at my X-rays.
I held my breath and crossed every appendage in the hopes that, finally, I'd conquered the Great Satan (my cavities).
I had FIVE CAVITIES.
That's worse than when I wasn't flossing! I felt cheated! I felt indignant! I felt furious! It's enough to make me sell my teeth and live on liquefied food the rest of my life! (Not really; that's gross.)
But really? There is no way anyone can tell me that all teeth are created equal.
Mine are out to get me. Haters.