Today she had to drop something off to her food science professor, and I went with her because I had nothing better to do. (And she had to use my ID card to print said paper.)
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"The Eyring Science Center," she replied.
I've been on campus for two months now, and I don't think I've even come close to going into every single building. However, there are some buildings that I hoped never to have to enter. Ever. These are the science and math buildings.
Kerri walked in with great ease, but I immediately tensed up. I don't belong in left-brain settings. It's like putting a lump of tofu in the middle of a bunch of hungry vegans: bad news bears.
To try to make me more comfortable, Kerri led me around to some cool displays they had, kind of like a parent leading their child gently into shark-infested waters. There was one where you could feel the weight difference between lead and nylon. You couldn't even lift the neuron star one cos it was glued down. I was bitter. She pointed out that it was funny because neuron stars are uber dense.
I hate science jokes.
And then she had me stand on two little yellow feet painted on the floor in front of a display. Everything about it screamed "SCIENCE TRAP!"
[Science trap (n)- an exhibit in a scientific setting that is designed to expressly make the everyday person look like a total goob.]
There was a pedestal in front of me that appeared to have a dollar bill behind a lightbulb. Trap. There was also a huge concave mirror not three feet away from that. Trap. Kerri told me to walk forward and try to grab the dollar. TRAP.
I didn't fall for it.
But it got me thinking; if sciency and mathy people really wanted to embarrass all their mentally inferior peers into never coming into a building again, why not screen IQs at the door?
[Begin scene: KERRI and BECCA are again walking into the ESC:
there is a contraption that looks vaguely like a metal detector flanking the door]
KERRI: (walks through the door)
KERRI: Come on, Becca.
BECCA: (hesitating) I dunno, K-sho. This looks spurious at best.
KERRI: (rolls eyes)
BECCA: All right.... (walks through door)
MACHINE: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Security breach! Someone with an IQ less than 100 has entered the building! Security! Security!
BECCA: (sulking) I told you so.
[Scene closes on BECCA being escorted out of the building by a robocop.]
Although the robocop part is pretty cool, I'd better make sure this idea never falls into the hands of any Brains. They can keep inventing ways to make gas cheaper.