Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Freedom to Fail

Yeah yeah yeah. It's been a while since I blogged. Half a year or whatever. I haven't been in the writing groove for that long. I'm still not in the writing groove, but Brandon got on my case earlier today about "my fans" missing my writing.

So I'm writing.

I'm all getting ready to graduate and I'm sick of people telling me what to do. Why is it that grown ups are all two-faced? They're always saying "Reach for your dreams!" "You can be anything!" and "Go for it!" but then they turn around and kick you in the teeth with "You want to be an actress? Do something practical!"

Practical? What the heck does that mean? Is ANYTHING practical? If I have drive, shouldn't I be able to make anything work?

I'm not one of those "stick it to the man" sort of people who does things just to spite "the man." I don't rage against the machine. I'm not a non-conformist.

I'm just different.

I understand that being an actress isn't for everyone, but being a desk jockey isn't for me. I want to live a fulfilling life! Two things make me feel full to the brim with meaning and they're teaching little kids and acting. But of the two, I feel most accomplished before, during, and after a performance. I feel so alive!

Not many people get to feel that. It makes me sad to think so many people go through their lives without that wonderful emotion.

I'M NOT GOING TO BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.

I'm not going to let other people tell me what to do. I respect your opinion, but let me fail. Freedom isn't just about the freedom to succeed. It's about the freedom to fail, too.