Thursday, March 5, 2009

Begone, fetid stenches of teenage rubbish!

I've been reading Perelandra for my CS Lewis class, and it is absolutely fascinating. What basically happens is this guy goes to Venus (or Perelandra, as they call it) and meets the Adam and Eve God put there. Is that not the most intriguing plot for a novel you've ever heard?

I mean, why not? The scriptures state that God made worlds without end; why should ours be the only one with inhabitants? Everything's in this state of bliss, and the Lady is naive a la Eve fashion. They even have restrictions, only it's not fruit this time. The King and the Lady are forbidden to sleep and settle on what they call the Fixed Land. (Everything else just sort of floats around on this endless sea of glossy, wonderful liquid.)

Mind-tickling. I've been thinking about it all afternoon.


In other Becca-related news, I have officially decided to become the Drama Police. Or maybe just being Drama Exempt. I'd have this badge that I'd pull out when people started being typical humans:

Drama Queen: *sighs dramatically* You will NOT believe what HE just SAID to me! I've never been so---

Me: Uh uh uh! *pulls out Drama Exemption badge* I am protected by law from your inane drama. If you continue, you are risking a fine of $2,500 or three years minimum in jail.

Drama Queen: Drat. *goes off to find some unfortunate soul to suck into her vortex of overblown problems*

Or some kind of weapon:

Mr. Collins: Becca, we need to discuss our relationship.

Me: Sounds legit...wait a second. We don't have an actual relationship beyond just being flirty friends! Get back, foul demon! *pulls out Drama Exemption plus three broadsword*

Maybe air freshener!

Me: then I told him that I'd totally go on a date with him. Cool, huh?

Drama Queen: Yeah, I guess.

Me: What's wrong?

Drama Queen: *clearly exaggerated* Oh, nothing...but if you REALLY want to know---

Me: Oh, no you don't! *sniffs the air* I smell unnecessary drama! *sprays Drama-Eater (crisp linen scent) into the air* Begone, fetid stenches of teenage rubbish!

You know, it might actually be worth going into the scientific field just so I can invent stuff like that.


Brandon said...

CS Lewis was a smart dude. Also, I will support your bid to become Drama Police. I'll hold a fundraiser at my house and everything.

Amy said...

MAN! I need to make a shirt with your sayings on it. I'd have to use like 2 point type, though...