Thursday, January 8, 2009

Favorite quotes

At Paradigm we have these things called commonplace books and in them you are supposed to write inspiring quotes and such. There are inspirational quotes in the front of my commonplace book, such as:

"It's much better, I think, to assume that the child is doing his part,
and that the seed you have planted will bear fruit in due time."
-Anne Sullivan

But the back of my commonplace book is filled with funny everyday quotes that come from my friends and classmates. Here are some of my favorite ones (explanations included...maybe).

Kayla: *talking about me* Secretly, she's a genius.
Me: What do you mean 'secretly'?!

Megan: In my opinion, hope is the second most beautiful thing in the world.
Me: *silently to Kayla* What's number one?
Kayla: *thinks, then points to self* Me!

Bro. McDonald: ...and welcome to Becca, who's accompanying Jaimi.
Me: Yeah, I'm her immoral support.

Me: Hey, Mr. Andrews, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, and I might be accompanied by my faithful dog.
Jaimi: Your WHAT?

Kim: The do I put this? The animals got along really well together. The lamb and the lion? They were tight.

Jaimi: Mr. Andrews! Becca is distracting me!
Me: Mr. Andrews! Jaimi is squirrel kissing at me!

Forget about taking one for the team; I'm taking one for the me.

Me: (Jaimi and I are writing what we think the headlines will be like in 50 years) I know! "Evil dictator Becca finally gets our of jail for trying to take over the world."
Jaimi: Okay. *writes*
Me: *reads* Hey! "Loser Becca gets out of jail for stealing a pack of gummy bears?!"

Shelby: Mr. Macy ate my my kitchen table...with my pepper!

Shelby: He's scary; he'll eat my soul.
Me: I thought he already did.
Shelby: I got another one.
Me: Oh yeah? Where did you get it?
Shelby: I found it in the back of your car.

Me: Dang. I really should start carrying my ID around.
Korinne: No, you shouldn't, coz then when people look at your debit card and quiz you on how to pronounce your last name, you should be like, "Smith! No, Johnson! No, wait!"

Calculator: Yup. 84-45 is STILL 39.

Liz (the madrigals' pianist): Hey, guys, I've never seen this song before, so don't listen to my mistakes.
Dauna: Liz, if you don't get this right, I'm gonna stone you!
Mrs. Steinmann: Let she who has never hit a wrong note cast the first stone.
Dauna:... I'm trying to decide if that was blasphemy.

Celeste: Is Jorje really your middle name?
Me: Yeah, just ask Jaimi.
Jaimi: Yeah, it is...minus the "je."

Kayla: My mistletoe is rancid!

Katy: *quoting a scene she wrote* "And I--like--went to--like--Jamba Juice and got--like--juice." Which is funny, coz you can't actually get juice at Jamba. They sell smoothies.

Nerdy, unattractive guy on the cultural winter movie: The question is, who's reproducing?
Me: Not you.

Korinne: *about the Hogwarts crest on my wall* What's the H stand for? Heretic?

Savannah: *about Les Miserables* After the prostitute, this book gets really boring.

Lauren: I'm not drunk on Eastern philosophy; I'm only buzzed, I swear!

Only YOU can prevent forest fires...and gullibility.

Michael: Hey, no fair! You have a female thinker! (during a Mind Trap game in which I was the only girl in the class and my team was kickin' trash)

Me: Be happy, k?
Jaimi: Ehnnn....
Me: Be less pissy.

Casey: Don't you touch our pop culture!

Mrs. Steinmann: Today we're going to have a lesson in Flirting 101.
Me: Is that really part of the curriculum?

(Mr. Macy and Clayne as the Beast and Prince Charming, respectively, are sword-fighting over the corpse of Snow White. Enter Belle aka Bria.)
Bria/Belle: What are you doing?
Mr. Macy/the Beast: Duh; fighting.

Celeste: Don't make me snap in a G formation!

Celeste: Naomi, check your XYQ.

Lauren: Man fast? More like man FEAST.

Tee hee. Is it sad that I have more of those quotes than I do inspirational quotes? But to end us, I'm going to share two of my favorite quotes from Les Miserables (in which I am on page 1404 out of 1464)

(***This one might not be very funny reading it off the bat, but it's hilarious after 1300 pages of heavy drama and the death of more than 5 main characters.***)

"Mademoiselle Euphrasie Fauchelevent has six hundred thousand francs."
It was Jean Valjean's voice.
"How is Mademoiselle Euphrasie involved?" asked grandfather, startled.
"That's me," answered Cosette.
(Les Mis, pg 1347)

"The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories that it has come to be disbelieved. Few people dare say nowadays that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet that is the way love begins, and only that way. The rest is only the rest, and comes afterwards. Nothing is more real than the great shocks that two souls give each other in exchanging this spark."
Victor Hugo, Les Miserables, pg 896)

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