Today we had our Annual Primary Program during Sacrament Meeting. For all those of you who don't know what a Primary Program is, it's when all the children under 12 in the congregation get up and share a spiel about the gospel. Children are said to be wise beyond their years, but mostly I just think they're hilarious. Here are some notes I took during the duration of forty-five minutes.
- "I (unintelligible) destiny." I'm not sure what this kid was saying, and I'm not entirely sure that destiny is part of church doctrine.
- "I incepted Hebenly Fadder's plan."
- After the three and four year olds got done with their bit, they went to sit down. Almost immediately a brawl began. "Hey, that's MY chair!" Howling and crying ensued. The toddlers involved remained upset during the whole program.
- While singing the song "Called to Serve" one little girl decided right then and there to bust out a solo. She grabbed the nearest mike (which wasn't on) and started singing until her teacher pulled her back.
- Micah, it seemed, had created interpretive dances for each one of the songs. He was highly entertaining to watch.
- The part with the most s's inevitably went to one of the only kids with a lisp. "Jethuth Chritht ith my Thavior and the Thavior of all mankind."
- My rebellious brother Josh has apparently taken up ventriloquism. He would barely move his lips, and yet sound would come out. (Sort of. He's not so good at the whole projecting part of singing yet.)
- The bishop's daughter started experimenting with the organ until he turned around and gave her "the eyebrow." This happened fairly fast; she only had time to press one key.
- I love when tall kids insist on standing on the topmost step of the step stool and they're sticking out three feet above the podium.
- I also love that some younger kids are clearer and more intelligible than the "cool" older kids. Example: A group of eight year olds quoted a scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants, which I could understand perfectly. I couldn't even tell what scripture the 11 year olds quoted. It sounded like "Mumble jumble wumble Lakers mumble grumble."
- The aformentioned Josh, when he got up to share his testimony, not-so subtly pointed out that he had actually turned 12 two days before and that he wasn't even supposed to be up there. Bless his heart.
I feel kind of bad, actually. I took more notes this Sunday than I've probably taken six months. Hopefully this is reawakening of a good habit. And if not, at least these funny childish acts have been immortalized. Who knows? Maybe that lisper will end up a famous orator or apostle. Maybe that mike-grabbing girl is the next Gladys Knight. You never know.