Monday, June 9, 2008

Things I Learned on Vacation

Hello, faithful, few readers. As some of you may or may not have known, I have just spent six days in lovely southern California with five of my brothers and my parents. It was an ordeal I will not soon forget.

Being the staunch student I am (hahaha), I continually look about me for life's lessons. And here they are, in all their glory!

1) Seaweed is five hundred times heavier than it looks. You'd think coz it floats that it'd be easy to pick up and launch at unsuspecting younger brothers, wouldn't you? Oh, no. I grabbed a gob and tried strangle Jonathan, but the lad just laughed and ran away while I lugged the wad which weighed approximately the same as a baby elephant. Lesson learned: you can't commit murder with seaweed unless it's an unsuspecting sunbather and you have killer biceps.

2) There is no such thing as too much Tally Youngblood. (See my Uglies post) I reread the series on the trip and found myself using Tally-Shay vocab. (Example: The beach was really cold on the first day and when I first got in, it was exhilarating. When I got out, however, I found myself saying, "There comes a point when cold isn't bubbly anymore; just warmth-missing.")

3) It makes more sense to talk to seagulls than brothers sucked into the Gameboy zone. You can at least pretend the seagulls are listening; you know the brothers are not.

4) Taking your pants off in the ocean is lots easier than putting them back on. I had this weird rash on my legs from the salt water and my board shorts chaffing, so finally I said "To heck with modesty!" and pulled them off. When I went to get out of the water, I decided that modesty was probably a good thing and tried to put them back on. Yeah, not so easy.

5) In 'n' Out burgers are highly overrated. 'Nuff said.

6) Few things feel as good as a nice, hot 50 cent shower.
My family doesn't believe that the trashy parking-lot-campground-wannabe showers actually cranked out anything more than lukewarm water, but I always got the steaming variety. Mmmm.... so good...

7) Wal-Mart does indeed sell modest swimwear...even in California.

8) Sand has the nasty habit of getting into everything, kind of like a toddler.
Only it's more annoying. And gross. But at least sand won't pull your pots and pans out of the cupboard.

Well, it's time to go sleep in an actual bed instead of a too-short seat in the family ghetto bus. Woot woot! I am livin' large!


Brandon said...

ur teh winr ur so awsum it hurts me

Fantastic post. Seaweed certainly is incredibly heavy, and In N' Out is certainly overrated. We must be related.

Becky said...

I believe the In N'Out t-shirts are more famous than the burgers... Sounds like a fun trip.